He Said

It's time to get cleaning in the garage and get rid of old crap. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's my place in life but I'm feeling the need to simplify and get rid of things I haven't looked at in a long time. I took out my old box of cassette tapes. This is an important piece of memorabilia for me.


Those of you who read my blog about night driving....this box holds all the precious gems that guided me on those night drives...the songs that compelled me. I decided it's time to go through it and find the ones that I can trash and the ones that I can't live without. Of course, being that tapes are obsolete, the ones I can't live without I'll be hunting for on iTunes. So it's a process and being that I get all gooey from that nostalgic feeling, it's a great process!


I found this song one morning on the way to work a little while back. It's called "He Said" by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians. I spent countless hours listening to her album "Ghost of a Dog" when I was really young and this song was such a good lesson for me then. It's well written, full of emotion and packed a powerful message. I wanted to share it with you.

"He Said" Lyrics

Just before the lights went out
We sat up and talked about
All the things that we would be
I just wanted him to be with me

When we're young and impressionable and feel the first twinges of connecting with someone on a romantic and oh so intimate level, you feel you'd just die if you had to let that person go. You feel that in this song. The excitement and then aching need.

But he had a mind of his own
And he did not mind being alone
Left me there in our little world
Left me there like a little girl

He said don't get hung up
Hang ups will get you down
He said don't look back
Look up and then look around

But it also teaches about how you'll be just fine afterward. You get the impression that he is older. This sounds like a bit of age and wisdom to me, but it's not words she wants to or is even prepared to hear.

That time I was feeling high
Like I never had to try
To kick myself up out of bed
Kick these worries out of my head

He said it's better this way, yeah
One day you'll understand
He said I'm leavin' today and
He let go of my hand

She's remembering back to a simpler time before she ever knew the pain of loss. But he's forcing her to grow up here and experience it.

I know that I'll never see him again
Not the same way that I saw him then
I know that when I get back on my feet
I will walk away from misery

What do you say when it's all been said
How do you feel when it's all been felt
Where do you go when it's all gone
And you don't care enough to carry on

She knows better, she knows that she'll carry on because there is no choice but she's feeling the feelings of loss in the process, going through the inevitable ups and downs of having to adapt to not being able to cling to a person for all you received from them.

Well, I say close your eyes
Look down deep inside
Someone is there for you
Someone who cares for you

Now she's talking about herself, finding strength inside and pulling that strength from the only person you ever really have completely, yourself. This is what we ALL learn evenutally.

Well, I know it's easier to say then do
Easier to look away than see it through
I know it's easier to think than feel
Easier to make it up than make it real

Yes, we have really weak moments over love, don't we? I LOVE how this song goes back in forth between emotional need and strength and independence. Because that is how life IS. We pick ourselves up by the boot straps because that is survival, emotional survival.

Oh it's hard to love
Oh it's hard not to love
Oh it's hard to love
Oh it's hard not to love

At my age, I still feel this way sometimes...and when we start dealing with friendships that come and go and the circle of life, this takes on even more meaning then just romance.

Oh now take me there don't leave me here
Oh now take me there don't leave me here
Oh take me home and disappear
Oh oh oh no no no no no no

Just feeling the pain that is inevitable.

One of the reasons that lyrics and music speak so much to me is they just verbalize the way life truly is, the way it hits us and the many things we go through and how we emerge forever changed by life.


http://www.last.fm/music/Edie+Brickell+and+New+Bohemians/_/He+Said


I can't find this song on youtube by Edie, I don't think it ever got that much attention. (I always find those songs that are under appreciated!). I did find it on a website called last.fm. If you'd like to hear it, here's a link to listen to the song. I hope you enjoy it.

You Move Me

On my way home from a friend’s tonight, I was listening to this song “You Move Me” sung by Garth Brooks. It's a simple little song I've enjoyed since I heard it back in the 90’s but I heard it a bit differently tonight. Tim and I have been together nine years this year and I have never been more in love with him than I am today. One thing that is a constant in our relationship is growth. Everyone brings different experiences (good and bad) to their relationships, be it from childhood, friendships and the biggie, past relationships. When you get lucky enough, you find the one that makes you want to open your heart and do some really tough work on yourself. When you’re lucky enough, you find the one that makes you want to be a better person, who inspires you to deal with some really heavy internal feelings and patterns of behavior in order to better yourself and the relationship. That person makes baring your heart completely worth it. A certain depth of honesty and communication about yourself and each other develops that is unmatched from any relationship in your life before it. If you’re both willing to do the work that is. Hey, relationships are never easy, even when they are right. Loving him has been an ever evolving experience, each of us on our own and together as well. It’s been an experience I am grateful for every day. Thank you, Baby! Loving certain people just inspires you to be the best person you can. It’s not always easy facing your fears about love and it can bring out the rawest of emotions.

I particularly love these lines in the song.

“This is how it seems to me
Life is only therapy
Real expensive
And no guarantee”

Shit….(pardon my French) but is that the truth! Experience is the best teacher, right???? Right. But you’ve got to live it to get to the other side of the lesson.

In this song, he is singing about a man who realizes that he can’t be who he is with her. Being with her is going to change him. He won’t have a choice. He embraces it, he is ready for it. She is worth it. It does happen.

If you want to hear the song…this was the only thing I could find on youtube of the original song..lol..sorry. Just minimize while listening!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy1mI90P6XI

And, here are the lyrics. Enjoy.

This is how it seems to me
Life is only therapy
Real expensive
And no guarantee

So I lie here on the couch
With my heart hanging out
Frozen solid with fear
Like a rock in the ground

Woman you move me
You give me courage I didn't know I had
You move me on
I can't go with you
And stay where I am
So you move me on

This is how love was to me
I could look and not see
Going through the emotions
Not knowin' what they mean
And it scared me so much
That I just wouldn't budge
I might have stayed there forever
If not for your touch

Oh but you move me
Out of myself and into the fire
You move me
Now I'm burning with love
And with hope and desire
How you move me

You go whistling in the dark
Making light of it
Making light of it
And I follow with my heart
Laughing all the way

Oh 'cause you move me
You get me dancing and
You make me sing
You move me
Now I'm taking delight
In every little thing
How you move me

Oh, The Night

I’ve really always been a night person. When I was 18 years old, I had a pickup truck. It was a little 2 wheel drive Mazda pickup. I loved that truck. It was 3 years old when I got it and I drove it 11 years until I couldn’t anymore. It was a single cab and the back window was a slider window that opened all the way up. I was a truck girl, a bit of a tomboy most of my childhood. I used to take off at night driving around Santa Clarita Valley where I live. No destination at all, just out driving because I loved it. I would just drive for hours all around the cities that make up the valley and on the canyon roads with the windows down and back window open just listening to loud music and feeling that mild night air blowing all around singing my heart out. Talk about freedom. It was the best feeling in the world. It didn't matter what was going on in my life or who my friends or boyfriends were, where I worked or what I did. For years, it was just my THING.

Last night I was heading back from out of town around 10PM and I had the windows down, the music on loud driving home on the freeway. I remembered my life back then and how I had the world in the palm of my hand, opportunity and such peace. Life is a little more complicated and peace is harder to come by. It felt so great!! I could have driven on and on in that moment. I’ll trade some of that peace for today’s wisdom and the relationships that have enriched my life but it felt good. Long sigh and smile.

"Once"

I'd like to say that you really have to be into music passionately to truly appreciate this but maybe not. A friend brought the movie, "Once" over to our house last night to share. (Thank you, Connor!) As with most inspiration, you never quite know when it is going to come or where from so it took me quite by surprise on this quiet Wednesday night. Following a grueling workout and shower, I was comfortable in sweats and thought I'd see a nice little story about people and drift off to sleep satisfied. I got a whole lot more.

This movie really hit me. The music seared right into me. It is a story that takes place in Dublin, Ireland about a man and his music and the woman he meets that steps into his life for a time to enhance his music and his life. I don't quite know how to explain the feeling this music and story gave me. This was a man with a beat up guitar and a simple life pouring his heart and soul into these songs. They are simple melodies that packed the most powerful punch. The songs were full of life and pain and the movie full of aching honesty and genuineness. I found myself riveted right from the beginning and particularly enthralled with each song played. I think the most amazing part is that at the end of the movie, I found out from our friend that the actors in the movie are the real writers and performers of these songs. The story was fictional but the fact that these songs truly came from the actors made such an impression on me. Somehow I felt let in to their real world of divine yet unadorned raw talent.

It made me realize how very asleep I've been in nurturing my own musical passion. I wanted to run right out and purchase this soundtrack and learn every word and sing it until my heart was overflowing. As of late, I have not given that passion enough oxygen to let it breathe fully enough for growth. That passion got me into voice lessons twelve years ago. It also got me singing regularly with friends ten years ago. Sadly, in recent years I have stuffed it below other things in my life staunching its growth and I feel the difference. It's time to revel in that kind of satisfaction again.

It is one of the greatest gifts of life is to be blindsided by great inspirations, recognize them, be grateful for them and change my life because of them.

Check out the youtube clip on my myspace page for a sample from the movie. A big thank you to Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglove!!
http://www.myspace.com/songbird0706