Life With a 2 1/2 Year old

Have you ever had a 2 1/2 year old in your life? Or better yet, raised one? The stages they go through make you question your ability to be a great parent! Though nine times out of ten I can be the perfectly patient parent handling the crying or whining exactly as I should, that one time when I lose my patience, I know what's at stake. I think of his perspective seeing this giant's wrath and the inevitable tears that follow break my heart. I start thinking of his fragile self-esteem and inability to understand why his behavior upset me. He doesn't understand cause and effect. He doesn't understand that he held the power to make things different at that very moment. He's just trying to figure out who he is.

I was prepared to have a child. To love him unconditionally and to teach him everything and be consistent and do RIGHT by him. I was prepared to discipline my child and tell him "no" and give him consequences for unacceptable behavior. What I was not prepared for was his constant self-contradictions and whining that he goes through at this age. Oh, I knew it would happen, but I had no idea how it would frustrate me! He is trying to find out who he is and how everything works in his world. This is all quite normal. An instance of this craziness: I don't care if he wears the baseball pajamas or the Elmo pajamas to bed so I let him choose. It's important to give children choices wherever you can. He chooses the baseball pajamas. We go through the whole bedtime ritual and get him dressed and as soon as he's dressed, inevitably he's changes his mind and whines and cries because he wants the Elmo pajamas as I am returning them to his drawer. But it's not over when you offer him the Elmo pajamas because then he cries that he wants the baseball ones. You can't win so you finally have to just put him to bed as is and this makes him more upset. This happens over and over about the most mundane things until we, as parents, are ready to pull our hair out. In the very next moment after that explosion when I lose it, he sits and cuddles in my lap telling me I have to be nice, the most lovable creature in the world. My heart is filled with love for him. At that moment, I don't know how I could have lost my composure.

As a parent, these are tough times and I know we're going to make it through just fine but it gives me the unshakeable feeling of failure I sometimes experience as a parent questioning whether or not I should be a parent thinking I should be better, more patient, more calm. I really do know that answer. Of course I should be a parent. I do some much RIGHT for him. I LOVE my son with all of my heart. We're all human. I know this and all I can do is be human with my child so he learns being human is ok, communicate with him honestly and from the heart. Maybe I'm doing him an even better service than I realize.

It sure makes me look back at all the explosions my parents had when I was growing up and understand them much better. Okay, that's all. Thanks for listening.

Post Holiday Pondering...

All the baking and shopping and gathering yielded another wildly successful holiday celebration. We stuffed our faces, put on a few pounds, spent a bunch of money and indulged in family time. Quinn turned our house into the aftermath of a tornado opening and playing with every new toy. The gift wrap, boxes, bags and leftover sweets strewn around the house. The gifts were fun and appreciated and we all sat around playing with our new toys; electronic gadgets, media, books, clothes, etc.

Christmas is passed for one more year and we made it through. Phew! New Years is approaching. With the holidays comes a hustle and bustle that is amazing, unheard of, and psycho! We become these frenzied creatures trying to shop, bake and prepare for holiday parties with family, friends and co-workers. Our mere existence becomes entirely about this tradition for a time. So our lives as we know them are put on hold. Then we all sit back a few pounds heavier afterwards and say, “Wow, that was great! Glad it’s over!” Now we can resume our normal lives.

So I sit here and ponder how we lose our lives for a brief time during the holiday season enough that we actually need recovery time. Can it all actually be worth it? What dictates this devotion to the holidays? Is it obligation? Tradition? The meaning is often religious or spiritual celebration. Unfortunately, we all know that the holidays have become much more commercial and we find ourselves constantly holding up to a standard, keeping up with the Jones, make this year just as good as the last or better. God forbid we’re strapped for money and dare to consider not celebrating. It’s just not an option. But we still hold the holiday season dearly in our hearts…the welcome of the cold weather, the Christmas lights, the eggnog, the gathering of friends and family and the endless generosity. It is a warmth that envelopes us and reminds of us of many holidays in a simpler more perfect time, our childhood bringing back all the magic. So we’ll go through all the hoopla and all the haze and come out of it making more warm memories and we’ll get past it one more year to look forward to the spring until the countdown to the holidays starts once again.

Hope your holiday season was wonderful and wishing you a happy and healthy New Year!

Welcome to my blogspot...

Why blog? Why blog you ask??? Well, (number one) because I have much to say. My mind never quite stops. I have lots and lots of random thoughts as well as a mulitude of philosophical ponderings. Maybe (number two) if I put them out there into the air for others to read and share, I'm SURE it will give me the opportunity to discuss things more with others and get them out of my head!! I LOVE doing that. Great conversation is stimulating! We all learn from each other even in conversations every day where we are not seeking an opportunity to learn, it just pops up. Every one brings something to the table, my friends. We need to keep our eyes, our ears and most of all, our hearts open. Quite frankly (number three), I am becoming an internet junky. Oh yes, I am. So welcome to my blog, good people. I'm interested in any and all feedback to my ramblings whether you agree or disagree! Just love the connection of sharing thoughts and ideas and connecting.

My blog is called songbird because as many people who know me already know music is everything to me. I LOVE music. Singing is my oldest and dearest passion besides the people in my life that I love. I will probably be talking about music, lyrics and singers who have spoken to me, inspired me and so on!! I'll leave you with one mantra constantly running through my mind..."so many songs, so little time!"

I look forward to writing on this blog. THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!! Now...where to start???